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18-05-02: All four
Things aren't exactly all hugs and puppies when all four of those involved in this angst-fest meet up at once.
Lydiere's stride is hurried as she crosses the bowl, stepping away from the ramp from Llysereth and Ahreluth's ledge. Her exact destination is hard to pin-point, but it's towards the vicinity of the infirmary, generally. Her expression is set in stone-- sharp, dark, broodingly so. Drawing her hands out of her pockets, she lets them slip about her waist, wrapping them there comfortingly as she walks.
G'wain steps out of the infirmary - Lydiere'll have to pass him if she wants to get there. He hasn't noticed anyone yet, his own expression one of quiet contemplation, mixed with a streak of frustration. Glancing up, he's clearly suprised to see Lydiere. "Lydiere?" Uhh... Maybe he should keep walking... But his feet don't seem to want to keep moving. "Uhh... Hi." Forcing a smile, he tries to be cordial.
He is quite relaxed and sufficiently so. M'kan doesn't seem to notice too much but then he finally notes the arrivals and both being those he knows. However, he regards G'wain for a moment and then substantially moves around, heading for the cavern, and seemingly let's things be... as they are. Unless he is forced to interven, of course.
Lydiere hesitates, and makes an abrupt attempt to change her course. The infirmary? No, she was never headed towards the-- she comes to a halt, turning her head so that she faces G'wain, visibly hesitating again. "Hi," she says, at length, very slowly. Her hands are dropped, dugged back into her pockets, her slumped posture lifted to an arch, head apparently held high. No doubt, it's because she is seeking something else to concentrate on that she catches sight of M'kan. "Oh! Hey there, M'kan." All broad smiles-- for a moment, anyway.
He speculates for a moment but then Mik grin softly to Lydiere, head tilted. "How is, Lyd?" He wonders, regarding G'wain for a long second. After a while, he approaches her, thinking a moment. The young man eyes over the goldrider and then the bronze. "See the healer yet?"
"No, she hasn't." Anda comes out, chin tilted up, eyes narrowed. "G'day riders, werywoman." Beware, she's in her fine and sassy mood..
"Healer?" says Lydiere quickly, attempting to tilt her head meaningfully towards G'wain, without alerting the bronzerider to the fact that she's doing it-- altogether a difficult task. "No, no. I'm fine, now. All's well. No need to see a healer about anything." See the beaming smile-- ignore anything that might suggest that it's a fake. "I'm good. Very good. Exceptionally good. And how about you?" Pause. Glare at Anda, as she hears the healer, looking rueful. "Healer."
"Nice try, Lyd." M'kan leans over to murmur to Lydiere before leaning back, and deftly ignoring G'wain's presence, as if all is right. And then he admits. "Not too bad, J'ey's mother sent another basket of food." He mumbles then, sighing, "I swear she must think we don't eat enough!" He quirks a brow to the glare, "Never glare at a healer, my sweet weyrwoman."
Words of wisdom, for healers have sharp objects. Anda doesn't back down, but relaxes into a strange smile. "If all is well, then your visit to the infirmary will taken even less time."
Lydiere continues to attempt to tilt her head towards G'wain meaningfully, but since the idea doesn't seem to be getting across, she gives up, standing uncomfortably. "Oh, that's good to hear, M'kan. She's probably just a concerned parent." Pause. Wince. "You're right. Glaring at healers is bad, because they have access to--well, yes." She gives a sweet smile towards Anda, tilting her head in the healer's direction. "I guess so. I mean, I feel fine now."
Pointing to his side. "They can do alot, Lyd, trust me on that one." He grins weakly but then nods to Anda. M'kan casts G'wain a meaningful if slightly shadowed look, but turning away, he nods to the gold rider, "You feel fine now, but.. in the long run, you'll have to get a check up anyhow."
Anda's voice is rather cool. "I would hope you'd have a better opinion of healers, weyrwoman. Access to certain information is a privaledge, not something that one of the oath would exploit. *Discretion* is our native tongue." She puts a firmer tone on that single word. "And I'm more than willing to see you whenever it should fit your schedule, ma'am."
Lydiere is going to start glaring, shortly. Is no one at all perceptive? With a half-hearted, wry smile, she nods her head. "I s'pose. I mean... everyone needs a check up from time to time, right? Even when there is," she clears her throat, attempting to ram her point home: "/nothing is wrong with them/." She pauses, distinctly uncomfortable under the gaze of Anda. "I didn't mean that at all, Healer, I promise. I'll certainly make the effor to see you-- in fact, I /was/. I got... distracted." Here.
Anda nods. "Please remember that I only mean well." She wants to add more, but will save it. "Many came into the infirmary with the same type of stomach bug you had, so I don't doubt your diagnosis. But it's good to be sure." Um, sure they did. Her face relaxes into a more caring expression.
He certainly won't be too pushy before regarding Lydiere, his sharp blue orbs regarding her for a moment. Shaking his head, M'kan simply states, "We just care, okay... it's not like we are trying to be your mother or father." He grimaces, mildly. "I am not trying that even." His shoulder lifts in a half-shrug, "But.. it's out of concern for you..."
Lydiere's expression remains mildly uncomfortable; G'wain's presence, even with the uncomfortable silence from his end, does not have her at ease. "You're quite right, Healer Anda. I shan't hesitate to come by at my first possible convenience, just to prove myself right." She gives a quick smile, as if encouraging herself to believing this lie, nodding more seriously in response to M'kan. "Aye, I know. And I do thank you for your concern. It /is/ appreciated. It's nice to be worried over, almost."
Anda smiles, pleased. "I'll hold you to that, weyrwoman. I'm sure all is well." Or something.
Shaking his head, M'kan seemingly rolls his eyes to the sky, "Keep that up, and you'll be certainly..." He trails off, thinking for a moment before casting the area a look, wondering to himself. "The longer you prolong it, the worse you might be off." He reminds, tucking his hands into his pockets. However, he looks about once more before watching someone arrive.
Lydiere is sure, too. Real sure. She pastes a semi-brilliant smile onto her face, "Absolutely, Healer." She pauses, the corners of her smile drooping in response to M'kan's words. "Well, perhaps. But I'm sure, quite sure, that it will all be fine." And if she keeps repeating that... "I don't think there are going to be any problems."
G'wain comes out of his 'trance', having zoned out somewhere along the line. Not really paying that much attention anyway, his mind is on other things. Moving around, he hasn't caught much of the conversation, other than Lydiere not feeling well. He doesn't comment on it, however, content to watch on silently.
Anda really has nothing to add, satisfied with the weyrwoman's answer. She's content to stand and watch the people passing through the bowl and idly chat a bit. Must get to know the natives, afterall.
J'ey stretches as he retreats from the living cavern, sure the sniggers and whispers have been about him and his face is frozen into a mask of repressed anger. He pauses as he notices a group of familar people, well one not so familar but the rest.... well they are part of people he has been trying to avoid, well Lydiere since she yelled at him and G'wain.. and well M'kan is with those two and he hates to think what they are saying. He wonders if he can skirt around them.
It is all but a good thing the dragons are not around, now is it? However, M'kan's attention is quickly drawn away from the group and then he notes the arrival. With a soft grin, he waves to his love, and then casts G'wain a quick abrupt look before turning away, subtly-- or he strives for that. Casting another glance about, he glances up to the ledges, chuckling almost darkly, and sighs then, rubbing at his neck. "Hey, love.." to J'ey, noting the look and quickly moves over to him. "Think Lyd's not feeling so hot..."
Lydiere goes silent; she's another part of this group who has nothing more to say, apparently. She catches M'kan's comment about her, and winces, attempting - rapidly, but not all that successfully - to hide it a moment later. "I'm /fine/," she mutters, to her boots, which apparently are supposed to make everything all right. "So." Pause. "How is everyone else, now that we've established how I am?"
G'wain flicks his head up at the mention of the word 'love', eyes searching for who it might relate to. Oh, J'ey. Features brightening just a little, he moves to cover the change in his expression just as quickly as Lydiere does. Erp.
Anda frowns slightly, somewhat sympathizing with the weyrwoman. "All is well in the world of healing." With all those fun herbs, why wouldn't it be? Anda turns around to see who is the object of such affections and nods to the approaching rider. "G'day, rider." Just a simple smile and hello. Such a nice little healer.
J'ey winces slightly as he is greeted but the wince becomes a smile, one that broadens for M'kan who is greeting him so obviously nothing bad has been said, he hopes. he nods at the stranger, "Hello, ahh welcome to the hall...." He looks for a clye about her identity and nods "hello Lydiere, G'wain" he says very formally. he glances up at the ledge and shrugs "That where she is hiding then?"
He doesn't seem to notice the slight brightening of G'wain's features as he had been watching J'ey approach. With a soft grin to J'ey, M'kan distinctly puts most things out of thought, but then gazes to Lydiere, "Denial is another issue.. but.. if you want to, then, it's up to you." SHaking his head, he sighs inwardly. "Your mother, Jer-love, is going to get me addicted to those winterfruit pies.. or whatever they're called!" He isn't accusing, just doing his best to lightening things up. He is one to forgive his lover, definitely. Leaning over, he kisses J'ey lightly. "Ah, right..."
"J'ey." Very quiet - Lydiere's expression turns guilty, as well it might, and she turns her head away, finding her feet once again far more fascinating than the faces of any of those around her. "Denial?" She pauses, lifting her gaze to meet M'kan's as she hears, and registers, this statement. "I don't think that's your business," she declares, at last, the coolness of relations between most of them echoed within her voice, there. Icy-- entirely unlike Lydiere.
G'wain looks at Lydiere, knowing that that's not like her. Or rather, perhaps it is now. Looking at J'ey, G'wain tries to catch the other man's eye, his head tilted to the side. Jer-love? Coughing, G'wain brings a hand up to his mouth, smothering any expression that he might have made.
"I am your friend, Lyd, I want you to be healthy.. and be still around when you decide to .. well you know." But then M'kan notes the coolness in her tone and then furrows his brow slightly, a sigh coming from him and then he looks to J'ey, chagrin upon his face and overall being. However, he catches the coughing but offers G'wain but a slightly firm glance and then turns to J'ey, thoughtfully. After a long moment of thinking, he then lowers his voice, "It's your health, Lyd...." Trailing off, he wisely speaks nary another word.
J'ey looks surprised at M'kan's comment "I thought you hated them, you refused to eat them and /now/ you like them?" He returns the kiss lightly, and then glances noticing G'wain's expression and bluses and turns his head away to hear Lydiere's greeting of him and her expression "Lydie you are unwell?" His voice is tinged with concern and regret and he slips into her pet name "Perhaps..." he glances around for the healer but she seems to have slipped away and he sighs and wonders if he should go.
"I wish you'd all stop worrying about me!" declares Lydiere, her voice lifting. Well, at least when G'wain is around, but that is only made briefly apparent to the truly perceptive by her glance towards his toes. "No," she says, sighing, "I'm not unwell. I'm perfectly fine, thank you; M'kan is worrying over nothing, as most people seem to be, at the moment. There's not a thing wrong with me, in any way, whatsoever." If she caught G'wain's glance at her, or the movement of his hand, she's avoiding glancing back anyway, so it makes no difference.
G'wain isn't worried about Lydiere in the least. Well, that's untrue, but he doesn't seem to actaully have seen her when she's been sick. Or perhaps he turned a blind eye. Relations between those two have been strained, to put it mildly. "Hi J'ey." Something in his tone is different, but he masks it well.
He doesn't comment too much, but M'kan seems to be pensive then, mumbling something to J'ey, leaning close to him. However, he then casts a quick look about, noting G'wain, again. However, his eyes briefly flash and then it's gone in an instant. Standing quite close to the greenrider that is his weyrmate, he then looks to Lydiere, but then finally gives up on her, "Whichever, you ought to see the healer pronto!" His retort bites hard then, and he leaves it as is. "And about those bubblies. Darnit, after the first bite, I enjoyed them the more I had them." He glowers mockingly at J'ey, expressions softening all the more now, a hand touching the greenrider's lightly. There is no denying the hint of possesiveness in his actions and yet he tries not to show too much, it may seem.
J'ey frowns at Lydiere and sighs, assuming her testiness is not from an illness but a disinclination of being in his presence and shakes his head and then a flash of what looks like anger crosses his face "This is sharding ridiculous! You are all acting like idiots" Notice he does not call himself an idiot "Either you are sick or you are not, just tell the truth Lyddie you don't like me for nothing that is my fault and M'kan don't worry." He breaks off as if regretting his words and shakes his head "Don't worry about me" not that he has not caused his weyrmate worry in the past "I mean..." he glances at G'wain and shakes his head "This is stupid, you should talk to you 'mate, rather then always foll.. I mean trying to talk to me." He tries to shake himself free of M'kan's hovering protective presence and stalk off.
Lydiere glares at M'kan's feet-- this seems to be a popular area of the body for glaring, today, the feet, muttering something beneath her breath. "I'll see a healer. Okay? I will see the bloody healer, even if it's just to get you off my back about it, M'kan." J'ey's anger draws her lips apart, obvious hesitation visible upon both expression and body's stance. "I apologised, and you didn't listen, J'ey. That's certainly not my fault." Except, of course, that she didn't say it loud enough to be heard. "Fine. I'm sick. Okay? I'm sick. And it isn't just going to go away, no matter how much I could wish it." Her gaze is transfered to G'wain's feet, eyes screwing shut. "Yes. Why don't you talk to me, G'wain? At least confirm the fact that we're no longer a couple, and be done with it, so I can move on."
G'wain shakes his head, his mind whirling with many different things. He doesn't know what's going on - he's got a lot on his mind. And Lydiere's voice is barely registered. "I... I need to think." Away he starts to walk, aimlessly heading towards nowhere in particular.
M'kan sighs quietly then and rubs his cheek lightly before realizing that J'ey doesn't like him being around too much, however, he looks pensive now and then leans away. Pensively, still, he murmurs, "Sorry.." and then thinks. "Okay.... I will try not to." But he does seem to wonder now. Crossing his hands behind him, looking rather thoughtful, he does shoot G'wain a look as well. He won't hover over J'ey at this point, getting the point quickly and to the tip of it. However, he averts his gaze to Lydiere, blinking a few times, almost startled but not quite. He then looks to J'ey, mouthing something to the greenrider, his eyes entreatingly asking for something or another. "Want to head for the cove area, or maybe somewhere else?" But then G'wain moves along, and then Mik seems to think a moment, looking to Lydiere, "Don't say that, yet, Lyd, not yet..."
J'ey pauses before stalking away, surprised at M'kan's easy backing off and Lydiere's reaction and he shakes his head "Don't be silly, don't say that, you want him to think it is over, you should not give up so easily over something so stupid as him thinking he is in love with me." His face turns ashen as he realises he has said it outloud and he glances at M'kan "i'm sorry" he says and shakes his head "it's not true, I mean it canot be no matter what I..." He glances at Lydiere again "I didn't hear you apologise, perhaps you did but you did say something you probably shouldn't have" he hesitates, torn between running away from the words he just said and well staying to try and make it all better.
"Why not, M'kan? I don't think he even remembers I exist, most of the time, let alone listens to what I'm saying." She lifts her gaze, catching J'ey within it. "No, I don't think he's in love with you, J'ey. I think he's in love with love, with sex, and everything else between." She hesitates, drawing a deep breath, her head half shaking, "I said what I believed. It had to be said." Glancing after G'wain, she shrugs: "We all have to talk about how we feel, don't we? Surely that makes things better. Communication." Her toes nudge at a clump of earth on the ground, distracting her gaze to something less likely to cause her grief.
"I know what you mean, Jer, it's cause of the flight." M'kan murmurs softly, his hand gently held out to J'ey. It's dejavu all over again. "I'm always here for you." And then he looks to Lydiere, "And you too." But he gazes to his mate, entreatingly again. Easy to back down, he adds, "I respect your space, J'ey, I want you to know that. I trust you, in everything you do, and whatever happens, you know I still love you, no matter what." A slightly hardened soldier he is, the young man bares his soul on the spot. Nevermind the whispers that'll be coming about and such. However, he cants his head briefly, regarding G'wain's backside and the person in general before gazing once more to J'ey and Lydiere--it's a nice cycle, one might think, of course. "Don't give up, Lydiere, you damn shardling know he still loves you!"
It seems that J'ey has lost his temper and is finding hard to get it back and he stamps his foot "This is ridiculous, you don't trust me, you shouldn't trust me!" He shakes his head trying to find the right words "I have cheated on you" ok once "and fooled around and everytime you forgive me, why?" He shakes his head as if regretting his words but he cannot stop them now they have exploded and he turns back to Lydiere "I don't want G'wain, really I don't, it's just flight and you think he would be used to that and not treat you this way seeing last time someone won your flight he went into a drunken stupor and I cannot say that I am not flattered or tempted but why blame me, if it is G'wain's romantic nature which is at fault don't blame me and treat me how you have been treating me" He shakes his head, partly wishing G'wain was here so he could shake him into his senses "Don't use me as an excuse if you want to end the relationship Lydiere, that is highly unfair." He then glances down at his feet, fearing to look at everyone and he glances down at the ledge, hoping to see his green come to rescue him before any more words come pouring out.
Lydiere's eyes are lifted, and both J'ey and M'kan are encompassed within her gaze. "I never said I wanted to end the relationship," she says, so calmly and rationally that it's as if there was no emotion to her at all. "Nor did I say that I don't love G'wain. Perhaps he does love me, perhaps not, but either way, I will not stay in a relationship with someone who is not willing to be in it. That is all. I'm not blaming you, J'ey, not anymore." She wraps her arms about her middle, and states, equally calmly, "To be honest, I have enough to worry out, without being concerned whether my weyrmate is going to turn around and suddenly come back. I don't need the complication of waiting for that, not with the-- other things that are going on, so I would rather end it now. Do you see my points, and understand them?"
"Because I love you, J'ey." M'kan softly intones to him, shaking his head, "I have known you this long, and I've been at the weyr since birth. And I don't blame you once shardling bit!" He does approach, stopping then and then cants his head, hand still held out, "I should be upset and not trust you. But Jer, that is not how I am. As weyrmates and riders, I realize that we will have our moments. Our lifemates will find others to twine necks with. As their lifemates... we react to what we don't and can't control. Please, just know I don't blame anyone for this, not even G'wain." He is relatively quiet, but calm enough to understand what is going on. Offering no more words, he hesitantly approaches his mate, but stops again, pensively.
At both Lydiere and M'kan's words J'ey's face goes white and he shakes his head, regretting his outburst, something he has always striven to hide is his quick temper, it burts out and it is afterwards he has to regret it and sometimes it is too late, he hates being impulsive. He swallows and sighs "I'm sorry too, perhaps you should not love me M'kan, love only hurts people." He shakes his head again and glances at Lydiere "I am sorry too, I should not have said anything" seems his green is not coming to the rescue so he turns on his heels "I need, I need..." he does not know what he needs so he quickly walks away towards the forest or the water.
Lydiere opens her mouth to say something, and then shuts it again, shaking her head. As J'ey walks away, she finally murmurs, to herself, "I don't think any of us know what we need." A brief glance is spared towards M'kan, and then she steps away, hesitating in front of the infirmary, and then striding away from it, settling, eventually, upon the incline of the ramp that leads up to Ahreluth and Llysereth's ledge, staring out blankly over the weyr bowl, on her own.
"J'ey, I love you, no matter what." M'kan calls after his weyrmate, following, hesitantly but continues walking after he starts off, "Jer!" His voice rings across the bowl, past the ... well, other places. But then he looks to Lydiere, pensively nods once before following after his mate, concerned definitely.